Things I wish I had known when I was 15

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1.  Getting off with 18 year old boys, is not cool – it’s illegal. When you’re a 15 year old girl you think you’re the cat that got the cream if you are seeing an older lad. When I look back now, I realise these lads were in fact sad, losers who couldn’t get any girl their own age so took advantage of pig tail wearing school girls who still ate coco pops for breakfast. Pretty sick.

2.  Enjoy eating chips for lunch. Chips and gravy, sausage rolls, smiley faces, cake and custard all in one sitting. Weight 6 stone 3 pounds.  Repeat that 8 years later and we would be the size of  Heather Trott (after she ate Shirley).

unhealthy-lunch

3. Be glad you were frigid. The popular girl who was always sneaking off under the slide at the local park may have been the best thing since sliced bread at 15. Now, she’s still popular with the lads but also has 2 kids, a council house and chlamydia. Be grateful you were too scared to touch those cocktail sausages, be very grateful.

4. Appearing last on your best friends MSN name isn’t the end of the world. ‘KaTiE LvZ BoBbY 4LyF 2K7 ❤ BBF GaLs: AbI, ViCkY, LuCy, SaRaH, AnY, LeAh, SoPhIe n HoLlY.’….. NINE, NUMBER FUCKING NINE, why am I last on the list? She clearly hates me and thinks I’m fat. I’m going to block her. And she’s not coming to my super sweet 16th at Heaven and Hell in Stockport next week. Bitch.

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5.  This is the only age that boys will be happy with a kiss. The moment you turn 16, lads will think they can put their hand up your skirt… and the rest. Make the most of being innocent, it’s all downhill from here.

6. The little shits in school will end up in prison or on the dole. The class clown may be funny to watch; throwing pens at the kid who sits at the front and launching tables across the room when they get a detention. In a few years you’ll see them in the street and laugh, because you’ll still think they’re a clown, difference is, you won’t want to be their mate.

7. Downing a bottle of White Lightening will never end well. If I could go back and tell 15 year old me that it is not clever to drink a bottle of 12% cider whilst spinning around in a dark alley on Friday night, I would. But she would call me a boring cow and ask me to go in the shop for 10 Richmond Superkings, handing me a bag of copper she nicked from her mums jar under her bed. Then she’d go home, be sick and get grounded all weekend.

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8. Teachers are human beings. When you sit giggling at Mrs. Jones’s mole, she can actually hear you and wants to twat you all with a ruler. She will go home to her husband, drink a bottle of wine and rant about how horrid you all are and how she hopes her kids aren’t like that. On the other hand, you’ll go home and won’t even bat a pretty little eyelid, unaware you’ve actually ruined a poor woman’s day.

9. Your mum and dad love you. You have to be home by 9pm and ALL your mates get to stay out until 10. That must be because your mum is a total cow bag who wants to ruin your life and hopes you die from social suicide. No, babes, that’s because your mum doesn’t want you to get abducted by a strange man who will lure little naive you into his car when your walking home. Duh.

10. Step away from the hair dye. Wow. This is a biggie for me. Ginger kids never do well in school do they? So 15 year old me toddled off to Boots for an Ash Blonde ‘Nice and Easy’ hair dye. Turns out it goes yellow, with a hint of purple and a dash of grey for good measure. It’s taken 8 years to get that shit out, 8 god damn years. Don’t do it.

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Holly O’Rourke

186 thoughts on “Things I wish I had known when I was 15

  1. BAHAHAHA! Oh God, I had a flashback. 24 years later and I’m still embarrassed about the effect ‘Blastaways’ had on my 15 year old self. We were invincible! And then we grew up. Gah. Great writing, thanks Holly x

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You all seem to be missing the point that this girl obviously had a shit time growing up as she regrets pretty much all of the things she said. I love being ing school, wish I was back there to be honest. Got away with murder (not literally) and bills and money were no necessity at that time in my life whereas now I am constantly thinking about the next car payment, rent, etc. Younger girls are morons. I’m a 25 man and I was dating a 35 year old woman, basically because girls my own age would rather walk around the street thinking they were holding a mirror in their fucking hand so they could constantly look at the lines above their eyes they call eyebrows. I hate girls my own age, and younger. My generation are gold digging fucks, stabbing each other with hate and slander at any given moment and you comments show, as will replies to this. In the 90,s things were different, it was OK for a 15 year old to date and 18-20 year old as we knew she wasn’t grooms by the government to try and swindle every single penny from the system by crying wolf every time she was touched by an older guy. I could go on and on but it would take to long and I have said enough.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Couldn’t agree more, 24 this year and all I ever see anymore is it getting worse and worse as the generations go on its pretty fucking depressing to be honest.

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      • Well, feminists have made it illegal to attempt to court a women, and that you are evil for being a man. Meanwhile women are sleeping with anything that walks. Is it any surprise dating is dead? You did it yourselves.

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    • Well hold up a minute.. You can’t tar us all with the same brush. I’m 22 and though I like to look nice on an evening out, I’m not that bothered on a day to day scenario about make up and constantly checking. And as for money, the only gold digging I do is in my own bank account. I don’t wish to ever rely on someone else, and I know I’m not the only girl like this.

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      • Me too, 22 and I’m far more interested in literature than tweezing all my eyebrows off. I like makeup, don’t get me wrong, but that doesn’t imply that I’m gold-digging? I pay for everything myself. You sound like a bit of a misogynistic prick to be honest.

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    • High 5 ✋ I’m 25 a female and I agree with what your saying x I am not a gold digger or anything you said though I am different from most people our age….and my god I know what you mean about those slugs…

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    • 20 yera olds dating 15 year olds has ALWAYS been skeezy and nasty. If you think its not then YOU have the problem not everyone else

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    • and how is that not totally sexist? i’m 23 years old, single by choice and going to university and I have given up on men because from MY experience they are all sexist little pigs who only want to take money off of me while cheating on me with another girl, sorry can’t agree with your statement, I don’t regret anything I have done in the past but I am nothing like what you have just described and you come across as a controlling nut job

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      • You sound very insecure and bitter. I’m nothing like the guys you describe, but I can say now that I would totally avoid someone with your negative attitude.

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      • You say those things about whoever you’re talking to yet you just said yourself that in your experience ALL men are sexist little pigs who take money while cheating. Read over what you write yourself before dissing others. All men are assholes, most of us will admit that, but most women are twats too so suk it up.

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    • Lol this is fucking stupid, love the amount of sterotypes in this like wtf you’ve been watching to many American high school films, you fuck tard

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    • I LOVE your comment! I’ve never particularly got on with girls for all of those very reasons – it’s far too easy for them to backstab and bitch and humiliate you. Can you tell it happened to me……..once or twice….?

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    • I’m 27 the younger generations aren’t all bad. Yeah twats exist but guess what all generations have twats. I’ve dated older and younger and had good relationships on both sides. Let’s not forget that the generations before us pretty much said the same things about us when we was the 15 year olds

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    • Perhaps you like the older women so they can give you a clip around your ears like your mother should have when you are disrespecting young girls you little fool ! I’m assuming you don’t have younger sisters or females that you can respect in your family as you wouldn’t be so derogatory to females !

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    • Younger girls are not morons, there are morons of all ages and genders. It is ridiculous (and ridiculously sexist) to claim that all younger females are idiots. Just because some girls pay a lot of attention to how they look doesn’t mean they are idiots and judging someone based on what their eyebrows look like is fucking stupid. All women of your generation aren’t gold digging fucks, there are people who take advantage of others wealth, they are not just women and they are not just your age. Underage girls aren’t trying to “swindle every single penny from the system by crying wolf every time she was touched by an older guy”. They are not crying wolf, a sexual relationship with anyone under 16 is rape. It is rape. Whether the underage girl/boy flirted or had sex consensually doesn’t mean anything because an adult having sex with a minor is against the law. As stupid and reckless as it is for young people to flirt/try to have sex with adults is, it is still not them at fault as anyone (man or woman) who has sex with a child is a rapist. Honestly I think you need to mature the fuck up, stop being a misogynist who judges people on their appearance, stop blaming underage girls for statutory rape and fuck off. I am 18 years old and I have far more respect for people than it sounds like you do.

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      • Seems like you actually do Alice R. Well done, better than I was at that age certainly. The only advice I’ll give is: don’t get dragged into internet arguments (as I do); you tend to find the worst scum that trawl these places who may well have never considered anyone else to be a real person, and arguing with them is pointless.

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    • Er…try getting to know some actual women. I’m struggling to think of any that are as you describe, and I have a *lot* of female friends. And “groomed by the government…to cry wolf”? Take a long look at your rape apologist self in the mirror.

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  3. I’ve got red hair, and got bullied for it. What’s the point. my hair is nicer than yours and will keep its colour. Everyone else will be white and I’ll still have red. Kids really are pathetic when it comes to hair.

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    • Your hair won’t be red forever….
      My daughter has a beautiful red tinge to her hair and I know unfortunately she’s probably more than likely going to get all the ginger jokes under the sun unfortunately. It’s so silly!

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  4. I dated a 15 year old girl when I was 18 and we’re still friends now, over 10 years later, frankly I object to being labelled sick by a judgemental, stereotyping, thoughtless individual who despite her mature years hasn’t grown out of making infantile lists.

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      • Even if there’s no legal consequences, the perp still has to live with themselves. I dated a girl who was turning 17 when I was a few years older and while that’s legal here in Britain, not an hour goes by that I don’t think of topping myself for being an adult who messed around with a child. I don’t know how an 18-year-old adult who does the same to a 15-year-old child deals with it, but I guess people use cognitive dissonance and denial. It’s like a friend of a friend who says that paedophiles should be hung, but was “dating” a 15-year-old boy when she was 20… I’m pretty sure she doesn’t include herself in the group of people who should be killed.

        To be honest, there probably should be more prosecutions for this kind of thing. Back in school there were quite a few cases of 16-year-olds and older dating 14-year-olds. How many people say they’d ‘never hurt a kid’ or get angry or disgusted (understandably so!) by the crimes of Rolf Harris or Prince Andrew, but essentially raped or molested a child back when they were in school or sixth form?

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    • Yea I agree Simon, when I was 16 my boyfriend was 20…… 13 years later we are still together and married!! Funny that isn’t it, for such a sleezebag!! Haha

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  5. ffs had, to stop reading, author sounds like a total bible bashing square bird. like one of those birds that was always dragging there mates home when you’d pulled!I also didnt realise it was illegal to kiss 18 year old boys, thats a revelation and a half

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    • TBF I think she meant that the 18-year-old young men were committing sexual crimes by kissing children, which they clearly were. There’s no statue of limitations for that kind of thing though.

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  6. I have 2 kids and live in a council house But it’s not a bad thing like this made it sound.
    They are both with the same father, who I’m happily married to. They were planned. My husband has a degree and a good job but we’d rather live council because it’s cheaper so we have more money for holidays etc.
    We could afford private/to buy our own but frankly there’s nothing wrong with the house we’re in so I don’t see the point in upheaving our children for class status.
    Although I don’t think you were trying to offend anyone Holly, maybe think before you make sweeping statements about where you think the popular girl who slept around might be now.
    I was very shyshy, had a few friends and definitely didn’t sleep around. It can be quite offensive to basically say that women in my position must have done so!
    Oh, I also don’t have Chlamydia 😉

    Aside from the stereotyping, it’s a nicely written post.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Wouldn’t have to move for ‘the class status’, could possibly do it to free up your taxpayer subsidised home for somebody who’s in greater/desperate need though?

      Liked by 1 person

      • Bob I don’t know if your aware but if you have enough money then none of your council house is tax funded. It’s just some people feel more financially secure renting then having to worry about mortgage.

        Liked by 1 person

      • How is it taxpayer subsidised? It’s just a different landlord, it pisses me off when stupid people assume living in a council house means you must be a workshy benefit grabbing gobshite. Council rents aren’t subsidised if you are working you pay the standard rent.

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      • You may pay the full rent but it’s still below market rate & the council pays for the maintenance, predominantly from their primary income, council tax.

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      • Chazii, the rents are usually below market rate, and the maintenance is the responsibility of the council, all paid for from council tax. Surely the point of social housing is to support the most vulnerable? I’m pretty sure the creation of the welfare state wasn’t intended as a lifestyle choice to allow statements like, ”because it’s cheaper so we have more money for holidays etc.” The sense of entitlement and self obsession in this country is staggering.

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    • This annoys me. If you can afford to live in something other then a council house then you should. There are people out there who genuinely need these places but can’t because people like you enjoy paying less and letting our taxes pay for the rest…. Rather then going on these nice holidays why don’t you save your money and actually buy a house seeings as your husband has such a good job

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      • Hi I also live in a council flat, got there by being single mum after HAVING to throw out my ex due to dv. Now with partner, both working and tbh comparing 600 a month to 1500 a month private I would be an IDIOT to give it up let alone be able to afford it. Whoever is trying to be such a smart* needs to know the deeper issues before commenting in that manner. Unfortunately the current rate of pay is NOT a living wage and we BOTH are above nmw…

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      • if she wants to live in a council house it is hr choice if she works full time the rent will be normal rate and comments about maintnence is bullshit because you can also get manged private lets or did your mammy and daddy not explain this too you while giving you your deposititfor your bought house. whos the mug her having lots of holidays while you cnt afford to do fuck all because your tied down to mammy and daddy debt not to mention yur mortgage oh and she will alos get right to buy with discounts up to 65 % off not bad for a house i bet is built to a higher standard than a private houses, not to mention they always have good gardens . i take offence to people telling others how to live there lifes.

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    • And my argument still stands that when there is a chronic shortage of housing available with the possibility of subsidised rates, this should be reserved for the most vulnerable and desperate of society. Not to continue to support those who are more than able to help themselves.

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      • if she didnt have the house an immagrant family would as we (uk) residents arnt priority want someone to cry to blame cameron

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    • I don’t think the OP was implying that everyone who has two kids and lives in council housing was a teenaged slut. I think it was meant to be the other way around. Like, everyone who was a teenaged slut is now in that situation + chlamydia (like how a square is a rectangle, but a rectangle isn’t a square). On an aside, I don’t know how council housing works in Britain but over here, it is considered wrong to be in what we call housing commission to save money for holidays when you can afford your own place. It’s like bludging off the government, but that could be a cultural difference and I apologise if it is different over there.

      Not directed at you here, but I cbf making separate comments. People posting things like “this is offensive, that’s not me” That’s good for you, but the title does say “Things ‘I’ wish ‘I’ knew”, so it really has nothing to do with you or your life. It’s an opportunity for those who have similar thoughts to have a chuckle at the relatability, relateableness, I don’t know the right word, but you know what I mean. So, kindly, get over yourself.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. This has to be the biggest, snobbiest, elitist piece of crap I’ve read for a long time!

    Pretty much each point is a sweeping generalisation. I love the one about the popular people / class clown / girl who sleeps around… Honey, I’ve bought a house, have a successful career and have travelled the world!

    Just because we were a bit naughty in school doesn’t change the fact that we have a work ethic and can apply ourselves to the job at hand?

    Also re: teachers, what about when they ruined OUR day? I remember plenty of malicious and borderline abusive moments between some teachers and other pupils.

    Things I GENERALLY wish I knew when I was 16 :

    Teachers are only kings of their little empires, they have no actual power in the real world.

    You will meet bigoted arseholes through your whole life, try and rise above them.

    Most of what you will learn you will forget within the first 10 years. And that’s okay.

    Chase your dreams. It literally works. When people tell you that your career path is a stupid choice, and hardly anyone gets to do it. DO IT ANYWAY.

    It’s okay to sleep with people, just make sure you’re both protected and are emotionally intelligent enough to deal with the consequences.

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  8. made me chukle abit as it was wat morst people (girls&boys) of my age dun 6/7 years ago only thing that ofended me was the councel house bit and the coment sbout benafits im a mum of three had the worst time ever in school was bullied every single day of my 5 yrs in high school so spent morst of my time ither bunking off o refusing to go i hated it as it wasnt just in school it was out side school to tge school i was in had no time for me i have dislexia and fine basic things hard i have try for many years to get a job tha dusnt invole having any qualifications my partner works realy hard to suport us evan tho he dun live with us im in a privit rent house and also clame incomsuport witch i hate doing but rite now i have no chose thers no jobs going by me plus i have a son who has serus medical problems that i cant get help for but then old bob down the road with the same problem can that the part of this goverment tha pisses me off im not evan clased as being a pioroty for a councle house in my area all foraners are tho witch is rong and i realy hate being on benafits thats y ive now started a colleg course to get qualificastion and some sort of prifestionnot every one like to be in benafits but sum have no choice

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    • Yep, that’s me! I’m really bitter and twisted hahaha! Or is the article intended to be tongue in cheek? Funny? Light hearted?

      It is meant to generalise, because that’s what makes so many people relate to it. Hence why my blog is successful and your simply just a troll.

      The article is based on MY experience and I had a great time growing up, the article is simply a reflection of the past and all I am doing is laughing at myself.

      You need to get a sense of humour, maybe then you wouldn’t find it appropriate to splash negativity about. If your doing that to me, a stranger, imagine what you’re like with people who you actually know. You must be fun to be around. Ha.

      Liked by 2 people

      • You go holly!some people clearly don’t have humour, I found it rather funny and very true, these people are just trolls that like to get on your back about everything that is said, I thought it was great and just carry on doing what your doing.

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  9. You lot need to get a life and lighten up, it was tongue in cheek humour, if you don’t like it, or are not intelligent enough then just don’t bloody ready it!!!!! Sounds to me like it’s a little too close to home for some people and they are bitter and twisted about the truth! Lighten the hell up!

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  10. I’m going to find you and chuck a pen at you. This is classist bollox, hopefully in 5/10 more years you’ll write an article, where you reveal how naive you were to think you were better than someone on basis they were misbehaved in school, or now have kids and live in a council house.
    You are sad act writing article for the internet, well done, what a successful life.

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    • Josh,

      You realise you’re writing on an Internet page to tell someone that it is sad to write on the Internet?. I think you’re proving the authors position very effectively lad!

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  11. I think everyone needs to stop taking this so personally haha. It’s just a slightly exaggerated hilarious recap of our teenage years, that’s it. Laugh and move on!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. This made me chuckle…although reading the comments people need to calm the hell down there is a lot of truth in this but at the same time it’s not the case with everyone….it’s simply about being young there is not one person who has read this that doesn’t have one thing they did when they were younger that was a bad idea but didn’t realise it at the time an its only now that you do and wishing you could have told yourself

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  13. Excellent article. What makes me laugh is the fact that some people are actually getting offended as if parts of the article were written about them. Guilty conscience, eh?

    When reading the article, it would be a wise choice to take a humoured approach… Just to avoid picking it apart for being ‘unkind’.

    Liked by 2 people

  14. In this comment section: people getting offended at tongue-in-cheek humour aimed at your 15 year old self and not them. The fact that some feel like they have to write an essay prove you wrong is an added bonus.

    While I didn’t do a lot of the above – my uncle scared me off alcohol until uni and I couldn’t dye my hair because it was too dark – I relate to a lot of that thought. Especially the 18+ boy thing. Cringe.

    Thanks for writing this, it gave me a good laugh and sparked off some terribly funny memories 🙂

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  15. lol. loved this. when I think back on my teenage years,not often, its normally with a cringe at how horrifically stupid I was back then. Yeah sure its cool to get in a car with a bunch of 17 year old boys who could drive you to anywhere and kill you. I’m lucky nothing bad happened I really am!

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  16. I actually really enjoyed reading this, it was such a good chuckle and generally such a good throwback to things which seemed like a disaster at 15.
    The hair dye one was a personal favorite, i did everything I could to change my hair color, I really wanted to be blonde (I never suited it though) and the other one I really liked was the teacher comment one, that’s actually such a powerful message and definitely something that should really be considered more, so well said 🙂

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  17. This was so reminiscent but for totally the wrong reasons! If someone built a time machine and paid me all the money in the world to relive myself as a 15 year old girl in a private all girls high school, i would laugh and shove their offer down their throat. I’m so glad we have all moved past our embarrassing sexual endeavours with boys who have either too much or barely any facial hair, endless nights staying up crying in bed wondering why everyone suddenly started ignoring you, and the guilt everytime you run out of the house screaming at your mum for not giving money that went towards alcohol and cheap fries.

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    • You don’t need a time machine…just go past the light barrier to enter the speed of time and then stop at the right exact calculated moment to go to your destination. Or, that’s at least according to what Albert Einstein proposed in his Theory of Relativity and Stephen Hawking’s documentary on time travel.

      And time travel does not work that way. When you go back in time, you do not decrease in age to fit that time – you simply are still your current age. It’s called time travel for a reason…not soul travel! Also, be aware that changing the past affects the future, which could result in paradoxes, time loops, creation of parallel universes, and alternate/multiple time-lines being created.

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  18. I was utterly outraged after reading this article – White Lightning is a fine beverage, and here on the council estate we use it every day to eliminate our chlamydia before we have more children to fund our skyTV contract renewals with the ensuing benefits.

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  19. im 22 now and pretty much all of these apply to me when i was 15. its not because i had a shit upbringing or because my life was terrible. i did all these things at 15 because i was 15! and looking back now ive gotta say its funny! wouldnt change a thing. everyone needs to chill out and stop being so deep!! i had a brilliant time!

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  20. Commentary

    1. So you mean pedophilia? Hey, it’s only apart by three years and it’s not that bad if you were both dating before he turned 18. Scientifically speaking, you have to be 20 years of age to be an adult, not 18! That may be true, but I can say the same to you when I become your age when you posted this blog. The irony and arrogance I see is just disgusting.

    2. Are you being sarcastic, metaphorical, literal, or a little bit of them all? What the hell is a Heather Trott? I don’t know, it’s just that I have a fast metabolism rate and a powerful digestive system; must be why I’m so skinny even after eating as much as a person with obesity huh?

    3. Wait, teenagers hang out at the park? You know those are great sources for pedophiles right? But I don’t care since I stalk the stalkers so yeah… What’s a chlamydia and cocktail sausages? Oh, I see, you dirty twat!

    4. Oh, that’s the time when MSN was still new. Hey, I remember using MSN as a kid. Now it’s integrated with Outlook, but the separate, independent version is now called Skype. And I hear that Windows 10 OS will be coming soon in 2015/2016, and it will be integrated with the Xbox One and Windows Holo Lens.

    5. Nah, the times have changed. Boys now want pussy at age 12, but I guess your generation is different. “Innocence is just a nicer way of saying ignorance; ignorance is just a nicer way of saying stupidity.” -Me!

    6. That’s not very nice to say. Class clowns are now different than how they were in the late 90’s and early 2000’s. I used to always get in shit in middle school, but then…there was high school. And now I still do not have one single detention, can you believe it? Also, I act like that (not always) but still manage to get good teacher feedback, excellent learning skills, and an average over 80 – I wonder why? Clearly a clown like me should be failing right?

    7. The hell is White Lightening? I feel you, I have an addiction of Zero Coke (kind of like how MatPat from Game Theory loves Diet Coke) and can never get enough. My parents always tell me that I should never drink it. But I drink it a few times per month, so I guess it’s okay.

    8. So is the police. I make fun of the police all the time. I trolled a certain police force (you know who you are) to the point they blocked and muted me on Twitter. I always thought that would never happen as they’re supposed to not take it so personal.

    9. I have no curfew you losers! I can stay up until the cows come home and my parents would not care one bit. One time I cam back after midnight because I had to walk all the way home after the bus transit decided to stop picking people up after 9! Stalkers do not stalk me…I stalk the stalker.

    10. This doesn’t apply to me at all since I am a guy so that’s all I have to say about this article!

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  21. thanks so much for sharing your story..I didn’t know who I was at school…a bit of a nerd…but I was always about pleasing others. And that continued on until very recently. Now I love who I am. And I’d also love to go back in time and teach my 15 year old self a thing or 2. Much love to you xxx

    Like

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